How to Consume
Enigmatically, there is an exciting free shipping code in this email
A quick note: this month, I decided to turn on an optional paid subscription button, for those people who like my work enough to justify buying me one cappuccino (with tip!) per month. Presently, this is entirely optional, but I have gratefully received so many encouraging pledges and notes of support over this last year, so we (me and my imposter syndrome) are giving it a shot. If you become a patron, I am particularly interested in hearing what sort of paywall-protected content you enjoy reading. The request line is open! Thank you to all of you who have already turned on paid subscriptions. ❤️
For the last six months or so of my personal life, I have not been able to catch a break with both hands. It’s actually been so ridiculous that it borders on hilarious, and several times I have found myself looking to the sky wondering if the executive producers of my reality television show are just going through a bad breakup, or on PCP, or experiencing rage issues… whatever it is guys, please, please put my voodoo doll down.
Really, really consequential crossed wires in communications, or huge surprise expenses and emergencies popping up, or the fact that I have been sick with a different virus or illness every other week for months, rendering the parts of my social calendar that should restore and refill my spirit completely unpredictable. I am an empty well. My birthday is this weekend, and normally I revel in celebrating myself on that one day, but this year I am ashamed to say I haven’t even made a plan, and don’t have any desire to have a party. I’m normally invigorated by the spring (even if I’m debilitated by the pollen), but this year I am entering this season with way less energy than I do normally. I am in a season upon itself, irrespective of the earth’s rotation, and I have to respect that season until it’s over. Does anyone else feel this way?
When I feel overwhelmed with stressed I derive a great sense of calm from getting my house in order, which can mean organizing my wardrobe or working on my finances or planning the next five years of my life. I have big goals (huge!) to accomplish in the coming years, which are mostly mapped and ready to manifest, and in a DayQuil-powered surge of energy last weekend I even managed to move my winter clothes to their summer home (a concrete storage cube). But what I have been thinking about the most these past few months has been what kind of changes I want to make this spring to my life, my behavior, to move in better concert with the world around me while such an enormous number of people are in distress.
I had intended on starting the year with 1) a media diet and 2) a doubling-down of in-person restorative time with friends and community members, and both of those intentions were derailed by non-stop Unexpected Events. It is tempting in this climate to contract the ways that we support each other or share resources when things feel unsteady. But in actuality… or rather, In My Opinion, extreme stress lays bare the opportunities we have to lock arms in ways that solidify safety and longevity for each other. What has cropped up for me most these past few months are the glaring ways in which we each practice extreme individualism, and the way we allow that to atomize our experiences within our communities.
In mulling this over, I think it breaks down to four pieces:
Consumption
Support
Engagement
Person-to-Person Behavior
Last year I took everyone along with me on my process of responsibly managing my clothing (wear what you own! repair and care! lovingly re-home your possessions with intention!), and this year I’ve decided that the organizing I’ll subject you to will be me trying to better understand the world, which is currently kicking my spiritual ass.
Part 1: Consumption - It’s Time To Permanently Change Our Shopping Habits
Listen. On the internet, I have built myself an absolutely top-of-the-line, luxurious, windowless silo when it comes to anything having to do with consumption. I have never once organically encountered videos of people’s “hauls”, and there are vast, vast stretches of the internet that are full-time dedicated to promoting consumption that I am simply never exposed to. My internet is for seeing some of the people I love and talking and learning, end of list. I don’t do much else there.
I hope it goes without saying that “haul culture” needs to end, and if you’re a parent reading this, your kids need extra help from you to unseat this absolutely terrifying new standard, because they are exposed to it every time they open their internet. Buying tons of cheap shit from companies who base their entire profit margin on exploiting other human beings up and down the supply chain is the absolute lowest hanging fruit you can pluck to be a decent human being, or raise one.
But that’s the biggest, easiest thing, right? Just don’t buy excessive amounts of cheaply made crap to plug the hole in your soul, not much to ask. Simply not doing something that we - a very short time ago - used to never do at all is certainly not helpful in moving the needle.
A few months ago, my friend Priyanka Mattoo wrote a great newsletter about choosing to deliberately make things more difficult for herself in manageable ways, rather than continuing to rely on the instant solutions that have overtaken our lives of late. The temptation to employ all of the third-party extensions that seek to remove any friction from our lives - Uber, DoorDash, Amazon, etc. - is overwhelming both when life feels good and when life feels bad. When life feels good, convenience feels like a timely indulgence: a congrats on your hard work making life great. When life feels bad, convenience if a reprieve: for a small fee, someone will bicycle to you the wrong way up Broadway with a foil sack filled with pints of Ben & Jerry’sin which to drown your sorrows.
Many of us regularly engage (or have just begun engaging, bravi!) in boycotting as a way of voting with our dollars. The best possible outcome of boycotting is not just exerting your economic control over a company you are paying, but additionally discovering that…. you didn’t need all that crap to begin with. Very few of us need access to everything overnight, or access to as much stuff as we do, and the velocity and availability is actually making us dumber and less resilient as humans. It’s time to plan a little deliberate difficulty.
Then, with that deliberate difficulty built in, you can engage with meaningful intentionality with businesses that you believe in. Introduce your friends to them, use your social channels to help boost their business, highlight individual items that you love or work well for you. Find the businesses that you want to champion, and then consistently engage with them as a patron. Endure shipping times of 10 or 15 years ago, or pay a few bucks for the service, knowing that the person packing your order likely benefits directly from your purchase, and is not stationed in a soulless warehouse wearing diapers so that they don’t have to take a bathroom break, then living in the parking lot because they can’t afford a home on their paycheck.
I am an incredibly imperfect person and this is an imperfect, ever-evolving practice, but to help me drive this point home and because people on social media ask me about skincare all the time, I am soooo excited to tell you that one of my favorite independently-owned stores, CAP Beauty, is offering my readers a special free shipping code, and I am presenting to you an edit of my favorite, most reliable items that I consistently replenish from CAP. Your free shipping code is at the bottom, and if you buy something I implore you to tell me about it. And don’t forget to sign up for The Thinking CAP, CAP Beauty’s free newsletter with recommendations, recipes, interviews, and education.
My Regulars:
Marie Veronique Treatment Cleanser, which I recommend if you, like me, do not have sensitive skin and need a deeper cleanser post-run or to wash the day off at night. CAP Beauty’s Serotoner is my favorite toner, gentle and light on the skin with a great uplifting scent.
I need a serum before I moisturize, and this Marie Veronique Repair Serum is super effective as a post-toner layer to bump up the efficacy on my moisturizer. But my moisturizer is the BEST moisturizer I’ve ever tried. I recommend it to EVERYONE: Lesse Essential Moisturizer. Incredible results.
Monastery makes their Attar Floral Repair Concentrate in two sizes, and this is the small one, which I am recommending because it is a more affordable way to try this incredible miracle balm. I use it when I have a sunburn or dermatitis, eczema or dry skin, and it HEALS. I recommend it to everyone. Activist’s Manuka Honey Mask is just pure high quality Manuka honey, and incredible for post-sun exposure and gentle rejuvenation in general.
My Kitchen:
There are two products from CAP that are in nearly everything I cook. The first is their new Extra Virgin Olive Oil, which dresses every vegetable I eat, and the second is their Pink Mountain Salt. When I’m making a big bowl of veggies, I love to mix both of these up with my friend Chris’s Tart Vinegar for a delicious simple dressing. Also, I love the tradition of bringing bread and salt to someone’s new home to bless them with a life of abundance - the perfect housewarming gift.
One of my most thoughtful friends, Alexis, once gifted me a set of CAP Beauty’s matcha and whisk with a beautiful ceramic bowl, which I CHERISH. The Matcha was immediately devoured, but the whisk and bowl remain, and I plan to use them for CAP’s new Hojicha, lower in caffeine than coffee or matcha. I am including their Whisk here in case you’re sending a friend a spontaneous gift and want to send a set. Mine is great and well-made.
My Wish List Item:
I turned 40 last year and not much has changed about my skincare routine in the last decade. I haven’t had injections, or lasers, I don’t use a lot of expensive tools. There’s nothing wrong with anyone who does, I’m just honestly precucciped at the looming question of how to eventually send a child to college on a single income, and every time I see Botox units priced out I disintegrate into a panic attack. But this year I might invest in Monastery’s new Deep Red Mask, a huge reason being that I love and trust Monastery, but also because of CAP’s embrace of “pro-aging” language!!
That’s my edit! Your code for free shipping is: ANJA+CAP
Can I suggest something? Pick a small business, and become its patron. We are all so used to feeling entitled to access anything we want at any time, and that attitude across history has created so much harm and de-evolution. During the LA fires, I heard a lot of this quote: “Do for one person what you wish you could do for everybody.” I think it’s definitely possible to do a lot for more than one person, but the point is to stop letting your attention be atomized and instead focus it into areas where individuals are small communities can feel your impact.
That’s it for Part 1: Consumption. I’m already working on Part 2: Support, so see you after my birthday and Mother’s Day, hopefully recharged in a meaningful way.
Abundantly yours,
Anja
i feel the need to point out that i IMMEDIATELY upgraded to paid before i even saw my link, and also that i really needed this! will text you about the calamities.